Had the crappiest day I've had in a long while. It started yesterday with some really disappointing news. I hadn't been that sad in a long time. And it wasn't sadness caused by a volitile situation like an intense fight, either. Rather, it was slow, dull, and aching, and I couldn't let it escape my stomach.
So I worked last night with some dude from SF. He told me how he likes to keep his distance from the kids because it keeps him sane. He doesn't even read their red flag sheets. What a dipshit. He belongs in SF, and not in SL Res. All I could do was listen and nod my head as if I understood, but I didn't. Then he went on and on about his writing and his non-profit project management experience. Dude was a holy roller, too. I just did my own thing the rest of the night.
Morning rolls around and DS and MS decide to pop off. They end up doing sits and going to school late. That made me late for training, which was a bit unfortunate because the rest of Res was playing beeper Jeopardy. DS and MS brings it together and we get to school at 10am. Jo calls me and gives me some bad news. More bad news. Not devastating, but bad nonetheless. There is a glimmer of hope, though. Our prayers are for that one to survive. It was surreal, sitting at the foot of the steps leading to the upper lot, watching staff and kids walk by, as Jo and I are enveloped in sadness, and I can't be there to support her. I felt like crying.
For some reason, LS and CF wanted to make sure that I attend the training. So I drop in, still in a delusional state of sadness and hope, while the staff is in the middle of playing Jeopardy. TV calls me up to play, and I have to go up. She keeps phrasing the answer in the form of an answer and getting it wrong. D'oh! Jeopardy looked like a lot of fun, but I wasn't having any.
Things sorta turned around when KW started announcing awards, birthdays, scholarships, etc. First was the scholarship; I received my 2004 scholarship once again. Not too much fanfare, because all you need to win it is an application and a pen. Nevertheless, I got called up for the first time. Got me basket of goodies and immediately started munching on the smarties. What an oxymoron, huh? Me munching on smarties. More like, just a moron.
Then KW started to announce the team of the month and I noticed J and FA standing on the side of the MPR. Hmmm....interesting. Once K-dub called Parsons meeting team as team of the month, I was half expecting it. As K-dub read off the attributes, it sounded a lot like them. As I applauded mightily (because they DO deserve it), I was called up by LS to join them. Go figure. I've only been a part of the morning crew maybe, 1 out of 5 days a week, but since I was the only overnight there from Parsons (DW and RC were absent), I was the only one getting recognition. Spoke too soon. LS mentioned the floater overnights, and immediately, D's fat ass got up to get some recongnition, as always. Even though, all she does is sit on her fat ass downstairs, waiting to receive kids for transition. So there goes the 2nd time I went up.
The third time I went up was the coup de grace (is that how it's spelled?) Then KW announced that the staff of the month would be called out. SH started to name the attributes of this staffperson, and the whole time he was reading them off, I couldn't help but think that I do all that shit all the friggin' time! But an overnight will never get it. We are considered to be a lowly life form in Res. Suddenly, my name was called out and I was genuinely surprised. "Deer in the headlights" surprised. Funny how SH was callin' my shit out, when I can't stand the fucker. He's a bad manager and an even worse communicator.
So I went up and got a plaque and certificate from KW. She told me I would get a $60 bonus. Big whoop. Now I can afford to eat out at Carrows or something. I ain't complaining, though. Squeezing any money out of a non-profit like SC is like squeezing a rock hard shit out of your asshole. I was a bit embarassed so I made a u-turn to immediately sit back down, but KW made me stay up there to get some appreciations. Awww....my first ever appreciations. But I was happy to get them from a couple of really good staff members, and they were really genuine. I think that was the only good thing to come out of today. Fuck the award, it's politics. But the appreciations were real and sincere. D the overnight and R the other overnight were probably stirring in their fat ass panties, thinking how a little pilipino fucker like me could get the first overnight staff of the month in years, while all they get is shit on their face.
Off to the individual house meeting. During check in, LS told us about her bro moving to LA, and her missing him. As usual, EF did not offer anything, and after little probing from new therapist A, LW told us his Grandma has started living in an assisted living center. When it came to my turn, I was vague, as usual. Offering the fact that there were a lot of things to be happy about, and a lot of sad, as well. I was conflicted. And I let them know that. I wonder what they'll be talking about me in the future.
Talked about the clients, but mostly argued about MB. I was getting sleepy, and my feet were stinking. I was hoping no one else was noticing. Before the heated argument re: MB started, I volunteered to play young Michael Jackson in a rendition of "One More Chance" called "Let's go to Camp". Next week, I'll get dressed up and act a fool. Maybe then, I'll actually be in the mood.
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